'Tis the season.

I've been baking up a storm these days.  Between holiday parties and cookie exchanges, there's plenty to keep me busy.  Not to mention that I'm head over heels in love with my slow cooker.  I mean, I can't believe I've lived the first 30 years of my life without it.  It has single-handedly turned me into the wife of the year!
Here's what I've been up to:

Chocolate crinkles

 

Ready for mass distribution.

The recipe is available here.  The change I made was to dissolve a teaspoon instant espresso in the vanilla.  I always do this in chocolate recipes to enhance the flavor.

As for my beloved slow cooker, I've made everything with it, but here's my favorite recipe so far.

 

I know I shouldn't share my secrets, but since I love you all so much, I may as well.  It's terribly simple; 1/2 cup of chicken brother chopped onion, 2 chopped lemons, 4 crushed cloves of garlic, rosemary and a splash of orange juice.  Wash the chicken well, pat dry and cover with poultry seasoning. Cover and cook for 5 hours.  During the last hour, baste regularly and voila!  The perfect dinner!

And coming soon... My holiday party!

Here's a sneak peek... I swear, my fridge does not usually look like this.

Pots!

Sadly, my 6 week pottery course has come to a close.  It was such a welcome relief from my busy days.  Much of my pottery looked liked it was made by a 6 year old, but no matter, I had so much fun.  I concentrated on making functional pieces rather than random crap.  Here are some of the things that I came home with and what I'm using it for:

For Mr. DD's cuff links

My slightly lop-sided pitcher.  Perfect for syrup.

A collar-stay bowl!

 

Sponge dish.

I had planned to give some of these away, but I'm having trouble parting with them!  I'm a selfish girl.

What he ate. What I ate.

My week:
Monday: Junior League cookie exchange party.  Tons of cookies, tons of food, tons of wine.  (The moment I arrived home from the cookie exchanged I dumped the entire most of my treats directly into Mr. DD's work bag.  I know if that much sugar is hanging around the kitchen, softly whispering my name, I'm certain to fall prey. Go me.)
Tuesday: Last pottery class.  Tons of food, tons of wine.
Friday: New student reception at Columbia Business School (Mr. DD is Ivy League bound!  More about this later).  Spouses are invited and I anticipate tons of food and wine.
Saturday: Charity Gala with Mr. DD.  Last year the food was ridiculous (but not as ridiculous as the fact that our table was next to Ivanka Trump's table!).
Monday: start all over again with more holiday madness.
What's a dieting girl to do?

This season has never been kind on the waistline, so I've been trying my best to be good when I can.  That means a lot of Frozen Diet meals.  When your freezer is stocked with them, you've really got no excuse.  Though, they really aren't much fun.

As if the season weren't enough, I am married to a man who couldn't gain an ounce if he tried.  His weight has not budged for over 10 years now.  Case and point?  We were sitting at a cafe in Italy during our 'moon eating pizza and pasta and drinking Peroni's and I looked at him and realized that he was losing weight.  My suspicions were confirmed when he told me that he had indeed lost 2.5 kilos in 10 days!  I, on the other hand, couldn't fit into the jeans I had worn on the flight over.  He chalked it up to "all of the activity"; walking, eating gelato, laying by the pool... Anyway- it's a chore beng married to someone who eats a termendous amount of anything his heart desires (usually veal, burgers and fried items) and never sees the effects.

In case you were looking for proof of my hard work: 

What he ate.  What I ate.

 

Chicken Parmesan.  Smart One's Lasagna Florentine.  We both had wine... don't judge me.

 

Egg and Bacon sandwiches with Home fries.  Fiber One bar

Chicken Stroganoff.  Smart One's Rice and Beans

Sorry!

I'm a huge Gilly fan, so this news delights me to no end.  I can't wait to watch.

Wedding Video

Teresa's Wedding Film from Jon Gangwer on Vimeo.

Bold what's true.

Bold what's true.

I‘ve never watched Titanic.
I’ve never been drunk.
I’ve never played Laser Tag.
I’ve never skipped in a public place.
I’ve never sung at an inappropriate moment.
I’ve never cried over a movie.
I’ve never cried reading a book.
I’ve never cried while watching a TV show.
I’ve never owned a music player.
I’ve never made a Twitter.
I’ve never read anything by Charles Dickens.
I’ve never been in love.
I’ve never skipped school.
I’ve never owned a rabbit.
I’ve never sung solo in front of a crowd of 100+ people.
I’ve never played Guitar Hero.
I’ve never had more than four siblings.
I’ve never jumped off a swing.
I’ve never been camping.
I’ve never watched an episode of QI.
I’ve never watched a Heath Ledger movie.
I’ve never watched High School Musical.
I’ve never made a sibling cry.
I’ve never stolen anything.
I’ve never broken the law.
I’ve never jumped in the sea fully clothed.
I’ve never read the Bible.
I’ve never passed on a chain letter.
I’ve never met a celebrity.
I’ve never written fanfiction.
I’ve never gone scuba diving.
I’ve never dyed my hair.
I’ve never had a tattoo.
I’ve never watched WWE on TV.
I’ve never taken part in a sports contest.
I’ve never been to a soccer match.
I’ve never danced to a Michael Jackson song.
I’ve never watched a sunset.
I’ve never played a musical instrument.
I’ve never sky dived.
I’ve never eaten fish.
I’ve never read Twilight.
I’ve never punched someone.
I’ve never swam with a dolphin.
I’ve never broken a bone.
I’ve never danced well.
I’ve never been arrested.
I’ve never owned a Playstation 3.
I’ve never watched a Batman movie.
I’ve never sang at a Karaoke Night.

Do you want to laugh so hard you cry?

Please tell me that you read dontevenreply.com.
Essentially some guy responds to posting on craigslist and other websites in a totally ridiculous way.
I literally laugh until I cry.
Here is one of my favorites:

 

Original ad:
I bought this GE refrigerator a few years ago, but just got a new one for my kitchen and no longer need it. It still works perfectly and is very large, perfect as your main fridge for a kitchen. I'm asking $300 for it. I am located in Brooklyn, but will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee.

From Mike Partlow to ************@**********.org

Hello,

I am very interested in your fridge. Is it still available? If so, how much would you charge to deliver it to my place in the city?

Mike

From marty ******* to Me

Yes mike it is still available. I will deliver it for an extra $50. where is your place located?

From Mike Partlow to marty *******

I want it delivered to my office on the 67th floor of the ********* Building on **rd st and **********. Now I am pretty sure that the fridge won't fit in the elevator, and if it does, it would exceed the weight capacity, so you will have to carry it up the stairs. I hope this won't be a problem.

When can you deliver it? I work Monday-Friday 9-5 and can be there any time. I do need it sooner rather than later, however.

Mike

From marty ******* to Me

that is absurd. Im not going to heave this very heavy fridge up 67 flights of stairs. Dosent your building have a cargo/utility elevator?

From Mike Partlow to marty *******

Marty, you don't have to lug it up 67 flights of stairs. There is a loading bay around back that starts on the 2nd floor, and I'm pretty sure this building does not count the 13th floor. So you are really only carrying it up 65 flights of stairs. There was a cargo elevator, but building management has told me that I am never allowed to use it again after I attempted to bring my motorcycle up to my office. They don't let just anyone use it anymore, so that isn't an option.

From marty ******* to Me

absolutely not. do you have any idea how heavy this thing is? why do you even need a full size fridge in your office? just buy one of those small mini fridges.

From Mike Partlow to marty *******

Marty,

You are obviously not a very good salesman if you are trying to suggest I buy something else instead of your product. How is that working out for you? Do you make a lot of money that way?

Not that it is any of your business, but I cannot afford rent in my apartment anymore and am slowly trying to move into my office so I can live out of there. I plan on disguising the fridge as a filing cabinet so my company will not get suspicious. If anyone asks you what you are doing when you are moving it into my office, just tell them that you are delivering my new filing cabinet. Try to tuck the power cord under the fridge so they don't realize that it is actually a fridge.

How does next Tuesday work? I am free all day.

Mike

From marty ******* to Me

mike I don't think you understood me. I am NOT delivering the fridge to your office. it's way too big and heavy, and I doubt you will find anyone willing to carry it up to the 67th floor.

From Mike Partlow to marty *******

Marty,

I'm sorry, I must have misread your ad. I could have sworn it said "will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee." Am I crazy, or did your ad say that?

I don't recall it saying "will be willing to deliver it as long as your building isn't too big and scary for my weak little body to carry it."

From marty ******* to Me

Hey listen asshole. You are a Fuckin idiot if you honestly think somebody will do this. It has nothing to do with strength it is just an insane request. the only way you will get a fucking fridge up there is with an elevator. fuck off.

From Mike Partlow to marty *******

Marty, I get what you are saying. It doesn't have anything to do with strength, because even my 120 lb ex-wife could carry this thing up. It is clearly a lack of motivation. You need to be in the right mindset to be able to do this.

Tell you what, I'll stand behind you as you carry it up, and shout encouraging motivational words at you to keep you going. I'll say things like "c'mon Marty, you can do it! You're almost there!" and "don't give up!" I'll even bring a few bottles of Gatorade in case you get thirsty. What flavor do you want? I have frost and orange, but I really don't recommend orange because it doesn't even taste like Gatorade.

So see you Tuesday?

Mike

From marty ******* to Me

shut the fuck up.

Subway memorabilia

New York City Transit is selling authentic and vintage subway items.  I love it.  Can you imagine authentic maps or subway globes in a super-chic lofty apartment?  A girl can dream.
Items for sale here.

SJP, I heart you.

Have you seen the December Elle? My heart's all aflutter because it features SJP, my all time, indisputable favorite girl in the world. As far as I'm concerned, she can do no wrong. Her love for NYC is as great as mine, and there aren't many people I can say that about.  Plus, she has the most precious body ever and truly fabulous hair.